Thursday, December 27, 2012

Pah-ty Training

If you're not my facebook friend, twitter or instagram follower, then you don't know yet.
If you apply to any of those relationships, you've been bombarded with my thousands of pictures.
I got a puppy for Christmas.

First thing's first. I love her. And her name is Lucy. However, she has shown me that having children should remain far in my future.

When we picked up Lucy, she had been staying with my boyfriend's parents for about two weeks. I can only imagine the damage she did to their home leading up to that weekend. Regardless, she had a huge fenced-in backyard to run around in, and was pretty well potty trained when we got there.

We drove a car 25 hours in a blizzard. Again, she did flawlessly. No accidents outside or inside the car.

We took her home to our apartment. I was a little worried she wouldn't do so well, but she proved me wrong. She would whine or bark when she had to go and she even held it down the four flights in an elevator and out the door.

For Christmas, we took her to my parent's house with a small neighborhood we could explore and a big backyard in which to run around freely. Three poops and four pees on the pristine white living room carpet later, I realized we were in for it.

What I've learned so far about potty training is that it also doubles as party training, or, as I refer to it, pah-ty training (like I'm from Boston). If you step back a bit, potty training and pah-ty training are fairly similar. It's important to be aware when Lucy is whining or making noises. This generally means she needs to go outside. If you're hosting a party and you hear loud noises, this generally means someone also needs to go outside.

Be prepared for accidents in the house--an obvious interpretation. Keep cleaning supplies handy at all times, whether you like it or not. Honestly, it could be urine from your puppy or a guest. My friends can get cray.

Make sure to keep Lucy busy. Playing fetch, wrestling and keeping squeakers handy are a necessity. An equivalent, keep your party entertained. Card games, beer Jenga, and sports playing in the background are just a few options to keep people within your field of vision.

Food and drinks. Duh. Many of your party goers may eat like your puppy so make sure food is at an arm's length.

And lastly, expect to be woken up in the middle of the night. Everyone has that friend that can drink like no tomorrow and jumps on your bed with a shot glass after you've been sleeping for a few hours. Similarly, my puppy jumps on my face and licks my ear (also a trait of some of my friends) to get me out of bed when the time is haunting.

So, for those of you who are striving to be a wonderful host/hostess, weigh the options of getting a puppy to advance your own pah-ty training.

Thanks for soundin' down.

..........

catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.