Saturday, December 8, 2012

When You're Both Bedridden

As of 11:04 am this morning, my roommate Megan and I have been in my bed for 20 hours. Woof. 

I'll state the obvious--our health has taken a swift kick to the nuts. 

When you're both bedridden, expect no one to take care of you. Not even yourself.

When you're both bedridden, expect any sign of getting up to require 15 chores involved. 

When you're both bedridden, every interaction via cell phone and the outside world is to be repeated out loud because I totally caught a glimpse of it. 

When you're both bedridden, laughing attacks quickly turn to coughing attacks and a hard slap to the back may not be welcomed, but is expected. 

When you're both bedridden, your skill of reaching for objects on the floor heightens. You reach for the remote as if its a fallen soldier you won't leave behind. 

When you're both bedridden, you get creative about doing things that would require getting up or you just give up. 

When your both bedridden, you don't comment on how the other looks because you assume what's in their field if vision is just as frightening. 

When you're both bedridden, the atrocity of your living space is ignored because no real commitment to cleaning is even fathomed. 

When you're both bedridden, holding hands may be accidental. Or maybe on purpose. 

Needless to say, sharing a bed with another human not only speeds the process of bedsore creation, it teaches you to practically give up on living. 

So next time you're both bedridden, do whatever schmoozing and bribing you can to get someone else to take care of your sorry asses. 


Thanks for soundin' down. 


catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.