Thursday, January 10, 2013

Line Crossing by P Diddy

When the words "splooge in my mouth" are spoken, a wide-eyed, quizzical look should be headed your way.

In this episode, I'm discussing that one friend everyone has that always crosses the line. A funny conversation is happening and everyone is contributing. Then your one friend steps up to the plate and, without thinking, relays the most inappropriate thing one could think of with a helpless smile on their face.

The person who contributes this happens to be one who is very close to me, so, for her protection, I won't use any names. I'll refer to her has P Diddy.

So one evening, P Diddy and I are headed out for a night on the town. This night just happened to be Halloween. We were dressed as an incredible 90s cartoon duo which, I might add, encouraged a wild amount of compliments. We were engaging in a pleasant conversation with our Kenyan cab driver when he admitted, as a child in Kenya, that he had never heard of the 90s cartoon we were so skillfully representing. So, naturally, P Diddy follows up with, "So, do you run fast?"

Thankfully, this passive driver chuckled, and said no.

It's important to note at this point that we had shared a few cocktails at home prior to leaving the house. Also, P Diddy is in no way a racist.

So when the driver shot her hopes down of meeting an incredibly fast, olympic-qualifying human, she, of course, says lightheartedly-ish (okay, not so much), "you're a disgrace to your nation."

This is where P Diddy crossed the line. She had no knowledge of it. She was attempting to be playful in her conversation and didn't realize what she said is rather offensive. She is also lucky the cab driver was in eased efforts and seemingly laughed it off.

This final example of line crossing by P Diddy happened a few weeks ago when a friend from out of town was visiting. This particular friend asked to use the bathroom and someone joked of our lack of indoor plumbing. He laughed and reciprocated with, well then, I'll just have to go in the sink. As we all chuckle, P Diddy, of course, chimes in with, "You can just poop in my mouth."

Also important to note, P Diddy didn't know this guest all that well. So you can imagine his surprise, followed by our own, was awkwardly confused. P Diddy followed with a nervous chuckle and all I can manage was to shake my head.

Although P Diddy crossing the line is possibly damaging to her own reputation, it does continue to give me entertainment and hopefully you too. If you can find one of these people in your life to provide laughable experiences like this, do so. Just make sure it's not you. You don't want to be like P Diddy.

Thanks for soundin' down.


catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.