Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Weather Creates Alcoholics

Happy winter! And what I mean by that is that I f'ing hate winter.

What I've realized the last few days, however, is that these winter blues are doing something to me. They're making those bone-chilling days really great drinking days.

You get home from work and fall into your winter wear closet, come out wearing everything and expect to do nothing the rest of the day.

Upon climbing onto the couch wrapped in a snuggie and a blanket, you impatiently wait six minutes, then curse loudly to mother nature as you are still freaking cold. You saunter through the channels as the motivation of getting anything done diminishes like your soul in Iowa.

It's important to know at this point, my roommate and I are being green and money savvy in keeping the furnace off. And yes, I will still bitch if I like.

Regardless, when you don't want to leave the house due to inclement weather, this is a great opportunity to warm up with a glass (cough, bottle) of wine, or captain. You get 3 or 4 or 5 or 12 glasses in and you can almost near a window to "enjoy" the snow.

Upon this recognition of winter drinking, my mind wanders to many other similar instances. Turns out, weather in general is a pretty great excuse for drinking.

Surprisingly warm day = summer-hopeful beer.
Incredibly hot day = ice cold beer(s).    
Beautiful spring day = mimosas and golf beers.
Blizzard = jug of wine (it happened).
Lovely fall weather = a whisky drink, a vodka drink, a lager drink, a cider drink.

So, with this, I can leave with you my newfound motto of human existence--There will always be weather, which means there will always be an excuse to drink.
You're welcome.

Thanks for soundin' down.

..........

catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.