Thursday, March 7, 2013

Oral Awkwardness

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of visiting the dentist office. Luckily for me, I am in the process of getting  a crown put on a tooth I shattered eating an oreo. True karma at it's finest.

Now, if you don't know the process of crown getting, it goes something like this. Gross topical numbing stuff that tastes like scented soap goes on first. After minutes, two giant syringes of novicaine are shot into your mouth to make it possible for you to be slapped in the face feeling nothing. Next, the drilling--probably 40 minutes worth, not to mention the constant stream of cold air on your teeth, finally completing the uncomfortable experience.

To some, the dentist is a phobia, but to me, it's part of my immunity.

Here is a short oral health synopsis of Catie Kruse. Every since I can remember, I am an addict about my teeth. I brush twice a day, ALWAYS floss and finish up with mouthwash. Every day. I'll repeat that. Every day.

There are people who don't do 25% of this and still get a clean bill of health from the dentist. I hate those people. The pH levels in my saliva are wild, making it rather acidic. These acid levels are the basis of all my teeth problems. Because of this, I'm more prone to cavities, regardless of my mouth regime.

Now about halfway through the crown procedure, the dentist repeatedly tells me how great of a patient I am and how easy I'm making this for him. He quoted, "You're the best patient of the day!"

You'd think after just taking a peek into my mouth, as a dentist, you can see what's been done. I've already had a crown, I have fillings in most of my teeth and my wisdom teeth are gone. What this means is, I've been to the dentist a lot. I've had countless shots of novicaine, drills in my mouth and other crazy procedures.

He then told me that I was even helping him out by consciously keeping my tongue out of the way and being able to hold my mouth open for that long.

So, after this fortieth compliment, I of course said, "well, I have a lot of experience."

I immediately regretted saying this. I could tell by his reaction, he heard an unintentional sexual comment. I couldn't make the situation any better by telling him what I really meant and acknowledging what he thought. Not to mention there were tubes, drills and water spouts in my mouth.

I inadvertently hit on my dentist. Because why wouldn't I? How sexy do I feel with my gaping mouth and half numbed face.

Can't wait to go back next week..

Thanks for soundin' down.

..........

catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.