Tuesday, June 18, 2013

When Casual Fun Turns into Karate

It was Saturday.

The sun was shining, the waves were crashing, the seagulls were flying their deadly peck weapons above our heads--a perfect day to spend at the beach.

Blake's family visited this past week and it was a practical requirement to spend a day at the beach. So, we Catie-fied this event by drinking 4 bottles of champagne at brunch beforehand then heading down to the water.

After some sun bathing and almost being swallowed by the salty water, we decided to pull our sad selves together to play a joyous game of sand volleyball.

It's at this point, the sunny California tinge really begins filtering this picturesque afternoon. Everyone is running, laughing and covered in sand. While this lighthearted vision graces the eyes of all participating, there is one tinge that slowly fades from sun and sand, to a deep red, probably blackish, representing the gravel in her soul.

This one person will remain anonymous. For the purpose of this story, I will refer to as Shmatie.

Shmatie likes to play sand volleyball. In fact, she's played often, because she lives near the beach. While she may appear to be having the most fun playing and laughing, there is a part of Shmatie that many don't see--she is incredibly competitive.

What started as encouraging hand shakes to teammates and shouting, "rats!" on a mistake, quickly turned when the score began to spread. Shmatie began kicking sand. She began swearing. She was putting her physical well-being on the line to dive.

Now from an outsider's point of view, it looked as though Shmatie was just really into the game. However, it was the trash-talking from the other side of the court that really coaxed out her true colors.

Someone Shmatie is very close with, a friend, a confidant, if you will, happen to make a fun-poking comment that flipped a switch. And in front of her boyfriend's parents and family she yelled, "Suck a dick."

While most everyone grew silent, including by-standing children, the heat from Shmatie's soul drowned out everything, even the sound of the waves crashing on the beach, and the over weight guy heavily panting as he ran. It wasn't until hours later that Shmatie begrudgingly admitted to getting a little out of control, as the continuation of the game played out in a similar fashion.

As the game ended and the two teams met to shake hands in good-sport fashion, Shmatie stomped off the court and laid in the sand, refusing any congenial touch of "good game," and refusing to speak for an extended period of time. She was consciously picturing her swift ability to karate chop anyone who dare come near.

It's too bad this Shmatie character, although incredibly beautiful and hilarious and intelligent, can't control her competitiveness and emotions to play a simple sand volleyball game.

I feel sorry for her dignity, but am sure jealous of her awesomeness.


                                              ^ You can still get mad when it's beautiful out.
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A catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/; Ancient Greek: κατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well.