Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I've Got The Power

As a lady, it's well known that one holds a certain power. This power can be used in many and varying ways. This power also has the ability to be harnessed and perfected, to which, I feel, I had spent so long doing and, therefore, using. I think we all know what this power is..

Getting people to buy you drinks, of course.

So, there was a time when I would pride myself on this almost necessary ability of survival and try to apprentice those who were just learning.

It wasn't until fairly recently, that I feel I've finally developed the maturity it takes to walk up to a bar and not draw in some poor sucker to feed you beers. I think most of it is fueled by having a job and not scraping for cash like the glory days of college. Nonetheless, I view it as maturity.

So I spent this past week amidst the golden rows of corn fields, clear blue skies, and the constant line of sweat that forms in places that shouldn't be discussed--Nebraska, the good life. I booked the trip for the eventful wedding of my sister. It took a serious will power of keeping my shit together to not scream out in excitement the weeks building up. I had the opportunity to visit my whole family, friends, and of course, the bars serving drinks that aren't $12. Booyah!

I went. I partied. I left.

I think it's safe to add that I partied hard.

Now, it's no secret that being a Kruse, you tend to "Kruse it up" every so often. This refers to one being unable to control letting emotions get the best of them and cry. And being that type of Kruse, I did just that. However, it wasn't just a few tears to be dabbed from my shining eyes, it was heavy, splotchy faced, snot-nosed sobs.

I had prepared myself for the the traumatic day following the outrageous week I had endured. I would say my goodbyes not only to my loving, kickass family, but also my roommate of 3 years, and boyfriend. Boyfriend is going on tour with a band that shall remain nameless, but rhymes with Schmalk the Schmoon, for a little over two horrible months.

I left the hotel already in bad shape after my farewells of my family, in which I Krused it up a few notches than normal, therefore causing most everyone else to Kruse it up. You're welcome, sort of-ish.

Once I got to the airport, boyfriend and mom sat with me for the little time I had left. When mom parted, she knew what was coming and decided to be a hardass about it, which I appreciated unlike anything I had in awhile.

Then it was boyfriend. It was horrible. The kind of horrible crying you never want to see in public and not even the reflection of your computer you accidentally catch when you're hysterically bawling in your own home. I waited in line to hand the Airport-Drivers-License-and-Boarding-Pass Checker my information with the most swollen eyes. I imagine I looked nothing like my license photo. Not to mention the struggle in attempting to take my shoes off and carryon items out to go through security while dripping snot on the floor and breaking out into more sobs. I was stared and gawked at for the next 30 minutes I sat at the gate and waited to board. I know every person was crossing their fingers in the hopes that they would not have to sit next to the out-of-control crying girl.

I took Krusing it up to a whole new level. The level you can't even beat in that Barbie game we had on floppy disk. I reached my seat on the plane, when a very sweet older flight attendant asked, "Baby girl, why so sad? If there's anything you need, I will be here." For whatever reason, this just made me cry harder and he handed me a stack of cocktail napkins. Awesome.

I was sitting next to an empty seat, secretly thanking God for no one being so close to my salty waterfall. When a poor soul could find no more seats and had to sit next to me, the Steven Glansburg of  the plane.

He sat, having to share an armrest with my shaking and heaving body. It wasn't until we were airborne, when he slowly lowered his tray table, looked at me, smiled, and said, "can I get you a drink or something?"

I've still got it!

Thanks for soundin' down.


catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well