Friday, October 11, 2013

Cinematic High School Parties

We all went to high school. And most of us went to high school parties. And we've all definitely seen the completely unreal depiction of high school parties in teen movies, scoffing at the giant crater that sits between reality and Hollywood.

If you're unsure where I'm coming from, let me lay some ground work. These parties are always in a giant, well-to-do house, presumably with columns. When you walk up to the house, you see party lights and people haphazardly planted everywhere. There is usually some outdoor attraction, possibly at a swimming pool, hot tub, or, in this case, a mechanical bull. You're not sure how the host got their hands on them, but kegs are being wheeled in by bearded, overweight, middle-aged dudes, dressed in stained, pinstriped uniforms. And for whatever reason, the host also has pull in the music world, because a band and sound system is rolling in to set up.

In real life, you're probably in someone's basement drinking the stolen wine coolers and Hot Damn! you snatched from you parents liquor cabinet.

I've attached a few cinematic references below.

Eurotrip - The Band

10 Things I Hate About You - The People

Project X - Someone Does Something Life Threatening

She's All That - Just Everything

So, at the age of 24, I finally went to one of those parties. 

Now, this isn't something I'm necessarily proud of, considering I'm long out of high school, but it was a realization that let me, for one night, pretend like high school parties like this existed. 

Let me paint a picture. In addition to the stereotypical aforementioned traits, a big, brick house with four large columns is surrounded by a huge manicured lawn. To the right, a food truck serving pizza (the most modern addition to unrealistic high school parties, I've decided), to the left a mechanical bulldog--that's right, not a bull, a bull dog. Party lights are strung everywhere and humans are littering and boozing the entirety of the building. Once you get inside, it's completely deafening due to the bands playing upstairs. Not just one, but 4 different performances, one including a DJ, of course. The line to the bathroom is ridiculous, and they look as though they belong in a subway station due to the littering of toilet paper, drinks, and other various trash. You walk up the stairs, containing a landing with a couple making out in the corner, naturally. You take a moment to feel for the person who has to clean this.

I can't make this up, people. And for proof, I snapped this photo.

Needless to say, I let myself be high school Catie one more time. I drank stupid amounts. I yelled idiotic things at people. And everyone was my best friend.

Hm. High school Catie sounds a lot like 24-year-old Catie. Weird. Regardless, I hope one day, you get to experience what has been only a figment of the imagination, an improbable cinematic high school party, just to say you did.

Thanks for soundin' down.

P.S. In case you were wondering, this was a private concert for Walk The Moon. I don't just find these things. 


catechism ( /ˈkætəkɪzəm/Ancient Greekκατηχισμός from kata = "down" + echein = "to sound", literally "to sound down" (into the ears), is a summary or exposition of doctrine, traditionally used inChristian religious teaching from New Testament times to the present.[1] Catechisms are doctrinal manuals often in the form of questions followed by answers to be memorized, a format that has been used in non-religious or secular contexts as well