Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Mac & Cheese or Die

If you've ever met my boyfriend, Blake, upon meeting him, you immediately take in a few characteristics: he is very charming, he is very goofy, and, most importantly, he loves Mac & Cheese.

At all times, we have at least three boxes of the cheesy noodle concoction in our cupboards. And he's made enough "blue boxes," that he is practically an expert. Believe it or not, he put together a recipe* that we later found on the back of their new boxes. (And yes, we have them around often enough that we can recognize a new box.) Basically, Kraft has been monitoring and acknowledging Blake as a virtuoso when it comes to the gooey goodness.
*Unfortunately, I cannot give you this recipe, as I imagine my tongue would be cut out.

There was a recent day that Blake was feeling too tired to make his loving noodles. So, naturally, he asks me to make it. I obligingly agree, as I recall being more than hungry and willing to take on JalapeƱo Mac & Cheese with a vengeance. I walk to the cupboard, grab the new Deluxe package and set a pot to boil. As soon as I open the packaging and I hear the soft sound of textured noodles nestled against each other in delicious anticipation , I see Blake's ears pique.

He "nonchalantly" strolls into the kitchen and doesn't say a word.

After a few minutes, he asks, "how long have those noodles been in there?"

"A few minutes," I respond.

"Hm. Well, they're going to take between 8-10 minutes, so just watch for that time," he offers.

It's at this point that I need to decide whether it's worth telling him that I've made Mac & Cheese before or just let him have this one. With no energy to argue, I let him have it.

He then proceeds to give me step-by-step instructions as he hovers over my shoulder. I, very calmly, make him his Mac & Cheese to his liking, because, God forbid, I don't stir everything together enough.

"Make sure you put in everything in the right order."
"Just a splash of milk! "
"You have to stir for at least 2 minutes."

I used to think Mac & Cheese only required a few easy steps, but now I'm aware that it takes an expert to act as a puppet master while I'm attached to the strings being forced into every action.

Basically, I'm never making Mac & Cheese for Blake ever again.

Thanks for soundin' down.

P.S. I still love you, Blake, even though you don't trust me with Mac & Cheese.