Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Sugar Free

Today marks day two of my sugar-free food challenge for the next 30 days. And if you're not one to read labels, that pretty much takes everything out of the game.

No nuts.
No beans.
No dairy, which means… no cheese! Oh, the humanity! (Also, no ice cream. Wah, wah.)

When I decided to do this, I knew it would be after the holidays and my body could use a good cleansing. After mounds of food, snacks, candy, booze, and little to no sleep, I couldn't wait to start. 

Yesterday (day one), was a breeze. I made healthy choice after healthy choice and felt great about it. Admittedly, I live a fairly healthy lifestyle already, so it wasn't completely bonkers. The biggest problem, carbs.

I. Love. Carbs.

Not to mention I put myself through aggravating workouts that, without carbs, probably wouldn't happen. Regardless, day one was great.

Day two has gone like this.

I woke up in the middle of the night. Actually, 3:23 am. And I was hot. Very, hot. Not in the good way, but in the I-just-did-a-decathlon-and-then-sat-in-the-sauna-for-26-minutes hot. I slid off my sweat-soaked sheets like a fat kid stuck in a not-all-the-way-wet water slide and sloshed myself to the bathroom. I literally had to towel myself off. 

So, I tried to go back to bed, but kept having hot and cold flashes. Not to mention that because I woke up at 3:23 am, the owl-aliens from The Fourth Kind were going to show up at any moment. I still will never forgive my sister for making me watch fucking that movie.

I had my alarm set to attend the morning Muay Thai / Striking class at the gym. So when 5:15 am rolled around, I opened my eyes, flung off my covers and sprinted to the bathroom, where I spent the next 30 minutes with my head in the toilet, rather than going to the gym.

It was like I spent day one with a iv full of vodka following me around. And one of those oxygen hoses to the nose with vapor alcohol. 

Because I missed my morning workout, I took on the Culver City stairs at lunch instead. Usually, I can dominate this bitch in 25 minutes and have an added bounce in my step the rest of the day. Today, however, I sounded like a 350 lb, two packs a day smoking, gorilla climbing those things. I'm pretty sure I saw a quivering little girl hide behind her mother when I passed them. My body is angry at me for not giving it easy energy and is, therefore, turning me into Shrek. 

It has literally been one day without sugar. If you don't hear from me in a few days, I've died from sugar withdrawals.

Thanks for soundin' down.