Friday, June 26, 2015

Read This. Because The Bible Tells You So.

I apologize to all of you for my hiatus in blogging. I know your days have been dark without my entertaining words and I will be around more often. But what a better day to get back on the horse than today! The day that love wins!



You may not know it, but I feel as though I come from an odd group as far as my stance on religion and what can now proudly be called human rights. Let me clarify.

I consider myself to be a religious person. No, I may not religiously sit in church every Sunday (sorry, couldn't resist the pun). Yes, my vocabulary holds about the same amount of curses as a sailor. And the answer is yes, I have drank alcohol to get drunk. Hello? It's called football season. And other seasons..

However, I do appreciate my very personal and in no way outwardly pushed relationship with God. I believe in Heaven, I believe in His unending love and support, and know the sacrifices of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins.

I do not believe in making everyone think exactly what I think, in living their lives exactly how I live mine. I do not believe in pointing out others' sins and ignoring mine. And I absolutely do not believe in taking away rights from deserving people just because some book mentioned it 3,000 years ago.

Okay, so it's not fair to say some book, because I'm talking about the Bible. I feel as though this is where my religious beliefs take a lonely turn. Sure, some might smite me for saying it, some might feel as though they need to pray for my poor soul, but here it goes.

I think the Bible is a guideline. You take the lessons and morals and read between the lines, letting the details and specifics fade. This leaves behind things like human kindness, love, and respect. In no way shape or form should the Bible be taken literally. And here's why.

It's not fair to say that God and the Bible say gay marriage is a sin and no one should be allowed to do it. Because so is eating shrimp. And don't act like you've never grilled a fishy kabob and on a Sunday?! Blaspheme! Also, my Feyoncé didn't sell four of his goats to my dad for my hand in marriage, only for me to spend my life serving him and producing his 8 children. If anything, I am totally worth five goats.

Take a step back, open your closed brain and realize that Biblical times are different than 2015.

First, it's not appropriate to openly buy whores.

Next, slavery is wrong and we can all agree on that. If you can't, I'm assuming you don't have the mental capacity to read this, so I can't help you.

Finally, gay marriage is a human right and you need to stop pretending like it's going to kill someone.

I will never understand the outcry against gay marriage being more prominent that the outcry against rape or murder. Really? Two same-sex people liked it and wanted to put a ring on it and that's somehow worse?

If you even try to argue that gay marriage is ruining the "sanctity of marriage," listen up. The divorce rate is over 50%. More than HALF of couples are getting divorced in 2015, and you think that's sanctimonious? If anything, this should teach us that straight people need to stop destroying the sanctity of marriage. Let's work on that.

I would like to acknowledge that people get their own opinions as much as I get mine. I respect that as I command respect for my own words. But if you think that it's okay for you to sin and by eating shrimp no less, and point at others to say their sin is worse, you're wrong. And I say that confidently.

Don't hierarch others' sins over yours. It's not a thing.

Lastly, unless you're out avenging God's law by personally taking out any man who cuts his hair, you don't get to pick and choose what you want to take from the Bible. If you're going to claim gay marriage is wrong, you best be putting anyone who works on a Sunday to death, because Exodus 35:2 says so.

Good luck, God speed. And finally, FINALLY, LOVE WINS!! Congratulations to human kind for wising up. Get to that chapel!

Thanks for soundin' down.